Every Leader’s Secret Weapon for COVID-19: Mindfulness

Have you ever been playing a vinyl record in the background, only to suddenly become aware that it is skipping, or stuck playing the same loop, jarring your awareness into the present and maybe eliciting a negative thought, an emotional reaction, a verbalization, or physical response, (like stamping your foot on the ground as you reach for the remote)? The question is: Where were you?

 Have you ever walked along the beach at sunset or on a path in the woods and suddenly realized that you were back where you started and missed the whole experience? Or find yourself reading the same email or page of a book, over and over, without knowing what you read? Where was your mind?

 Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a discussion with a direct report, peer, or your boss, when you suddenly notice your heart is racing, your voice has become loud, your jaw is clenched, or your thoughts toward the other have turned negative and judgmental? Where was your mind?

 For many leaders trying to respond to COVID-19 induced anxiety, fears, and the myriads of problems and challenges coming at them by the minute or hour, life has a way of happening just like that stuck record, missed experience, or unconscious reaction. Many find themselves playing the same loop as the stress culminates and they say the thing they wish they hadn’t or withdraw and suffer the consequences.

 Leading thorough COVID-19 has no blueprint, no precedent, seemingly no relief in sight. At a time when leaders seek equilibrium, they need to project calm and confidence, and keep a clear head so they can respond and decide in the most prudent fashion, many leaders find themselves stuck and getting caught up in their own fears, anxieties, and negative thought patterns. Left unchecked, negative stress becomes chronic and feels uncontrollable.

 Here’s the thing. Although stress response is an integral part of our biology and permanent, like grooves in a record, the thought patterns we develop under stress are not. With practice, we can undo negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones that serve us better, before a new pattern of anxiety can be created, AND before the overwhelm sets in. 

 This help is nearer  than you think.  Just like YouTube videos can offer tools, tips, and techniques for restoring those scratched vinyls, you can learn how to move upstream and actually change the way you respond to stress. You can learn techniques to overcome feelings of overwhelm anxiety and/or foggy headedness. This article will introduce you to this powerful weapon at your disposal.  It’s called Mindfulness Practice. What is it?

 Put simply, Mindfulness is “a moment-by-moment awareness of one’s thoughts, feelings, and sensations. It’s the precursor to the much sought after leadership competency of “Self-Awareness.” And it is not a ‘one and done’ learning event. Like the great masters of sports, music, and other endeavors who continue to practice daily to hone their skill,  Mindfulness mastery practice has no limits on what it can offer us for both mental and physical health. 

 Are you breathing right now? How do you know? Is it an intellectual knowing -  you trust that if you are reading this, you are breathing? Is it something more - something felt? Chances are, you haven’t thought about your breathing for a while now. Yet it’s always there. Can you hear or feel your breath?

 Let’s try it. Before you read more. Take a pause. Sit up straight. Put your feet flat on the ground. Spread your toes or take off your shoes, if you can. Now move your attention to your breathing.

 Focus on your chest area - your breathing, as it goes - In…Out…In…Out…

 Notice the feel of your rib cage expanding as you breathe in. Can you hold it to count three? One…Two…Three…And then let it go?

 How did it feel? Notice if your breathing is fast or slow. Do you feel it in your upper chest or lower in your ribcage?

 Can you pause long enough to take two more breaths just like that? In…one, two, three…out…one, two, three, four, five…

 When you know, with your whole being that you are breathing, you are practicing Mindfulness.

 What are you thinking? Have you thought about your thoughts lately?  What is the quality of your mind right now?

 Before you read on, can you pause and bring your awareness to your mind? Just notice…

 Is it clear, engaged, concentrated, on the present?

 Whatever you are doing?

 On whomever you are speaking with?

 In the space you are occupying?

 Did you notice the beautiful sunset last night? That’s a good thought. A good thought to bring into your awareness and then let go – like a cloud in the sky.

 A more challenging thought might be, “What if I die from Coronavirus”? Or “what if I lose my job or my loved one to Coronavirus?” Those are hard thoughts – the kind that stick- the kind that bring fear response and take us off track. But they are just thoughts. If you can pause and go back to your breath for just a minute, you may notice that even the hard thoughts can move away.

 What emotions are you feeling? Do you feel anxious, sad, excited, fearful, joyful, all of these at once?  

 It’s all normal because we are humans. If we choose Mindfulness practice, we can learn to soften the impact of hard, sticky thoughts, and the emotions they raise in us. We can learn to acknowledge them, to honor them and let them go by – like cars in the road, as we stand at an intersection waiting to cross the street. 

Knowing the current state of your mind, without judging it, Is Mindfulness. Paying attention to your emotional state in the present moment, and naming it, is Mindfulness. Training our brains to come back to a place of centeredness and peace, even if just for a moment, is Mindfulness. It helps us identify and accept what is. Helps us access a peaceful place that exists in all of us, just like the sun above the clouds.

 Could things get any worse? Mabe. Here’s the thing. When you are leading, it is critical that you project calm and confidence to those relying on you. Confidence that this too will end, and we will find a way forward. As a leader, you must project this, even if your insides are churning, your stress response is building, and frankly, you aren’t really sure what is going to happen. The reality is everyone is counting on you. And you are not alone.

 Positive thinking is not the panacea, many proclaim it to be. The self-help industry is flooded with books, podcasts, articles, conferences, you name it. It’s all the same, something like, think positive and change your life forever.” It rarely works. It’s not sustainable. Why? In his book THE ANTIDOTE: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking, Oliver Burkeman offers insights and research for why telling yourself to “be positive” won’t do it. He explains that although optimism is wonderful and often necessary for our resilience, “we have developed the habit of chronically overvaluing positivity and the skills of ‘doing’ while we chronically undervalue negativity and the “not doing” skills, such as resting in uncertainty or getting friendly towards failure.”

 Because positive thinking without doing the work, is like a band aid on a gushing wound. It doesn’t address the source. We cannot do away with uncertainty or our anxieties by just deciding not to deal with the present and all that entails. There will be uncertainty and failure ahead. What we need is to develop our resiliency through mindful attention.

 When we do the work of Mindfulness through practice, we realize that thoughts are thoughts, feelings are feelings, emotions are emotions, and situations have root causes much more complex than saying or writing a positive affirmation can fix. We get busy. We forget what a powerful resource it is, especially in times like this. We believe that if we just stay busy and think positive thoughts, the root of our fears will somehow disappear.

 That skipping vinyl record is the perfect analogy for why Mindfulness is critical to maintain the well-being of leaders and their teams. Without Mindfulness, our brains slip into default. Our biology prepares us to fight lions, tigers, and bears, even when the threat in front of us is something as trivial as someone cutting us off in traffic or not immediately answering an email.

 We need stress to fight off the bear or other real threats to our wellbeing - it’s part of our biology. We need some stress to perform; however, it is important to know that we create patterns of thought during negative stress episodes. These become permanent unless we intervene. Unless we find alternative ways to respond our emotions, thoughts, and decisions are not negatively impacted. That is the power of Mindfulness.  

 In his book Burkeman offers an alternative to banal platitudes like "just be positive." Citing psychologist Paul Pearsall: “What we need more of, instead, is…”openture.” We can embrace imperfection and ease up on simple answers with Mindfulness as the starting point. The Stoics are more popular than ever, although sometimes misunderstood. They never asked us to give up feelings and emotions. In fact, they believe the body & mind are one and sought to understand all of the implications of that. They remind us that we can choose not to be distressed by events. We can choose peace and tranquility, even in dire situations.

 One of my favorite leadership gurus, Stephen Covey, said it best, “Between a stimulus and a response, there is Choice.” And in choice there is freedom. Our best choices come from developing self-awareness about how we feel, think, and respond during stressful situations. Let’s face it, at work, there are always stressful situations. This pandemic will pass, and more challenges will take over. The negative stress response will kick back into gear. The scratch on the album is permanent, unless we intervene. That pattern doesn’t know the difference between the pandemic and your boss, partner, or co-workers breathing down your neck during "business as usual." 

 Just like you need to build stamina with awareness, choice, and practice, to develop any muscle, any new skill, or relationship, Mindfulness takes practice. It takes investing our time, attention, and focus, to go deeper, to develop awareness in the present, so we can better serve in the future. And isn’t that what any great leader truly desires is to be at their best so they can lead at their best?

 When we practice Mindfulness, we are living fully in the present, aware of our thoughts, physical body, emotions -  we can see clearly what our conditioned responses to stress are without trying to reframe them, ignore them, or justify them. We can choose differently:

 -We can choose to come back to our breath

 -We can choose to come back to our body

 -We can choose to notice our thoughts and set them free

 -We can choose to stay free of self-judgment

 We can choose all of these in order to remain resilient and effective humans charged with leading through COVID-19 and beyond. We are counting on leaders to get us through. The toolkits I use whether coaching one-on-one or working with teams, always start with Self-Awareness and Mindfulness. Thousands of individual leaders and team members later, I am convinced that Mindfulness Practice is critical for leaders’ self-care AND an indispensable secret weapon for leading through COVID-19.

 ©by Lesia Stone, Certified Transitions Coach and Consultant for Leaders and their Teams

Keystone Katalyst, LLC - April 2020

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